Earlier today as I was thinking about all of my frustrations, I had planned to write about those things that I am continually stressed and amazed by. After my first parent conference of the night, I am blessed to have my eyes opened.
I met a mother today at report card conference who, until this meeting, I had never met her. As she looked at her son's report card, and the major improvements that he has made in his grades and effort, she began to cry. She was so happy to see that he had been trying, and my student left with the biggest smile on his face! "This is all mommy asks for, right?" she said as she sat there and spoke with him, looking at his report card. This is one of those, "Aha!" moments where I feel like my work has paid off. This is a student who has come so far in terms of social interaction, responsibility, and anger management. I can only hope that some of it had to do with me.
Most of the time when I have report card conferences, I end up with children crying, and parents who are unhappy with their offspring. So far so good! I am overwhelmingly happy to see tears of joy running down a mothers face because she is proud of her child. Those same tears almost fell as I sat there next to them because I am proud of my student.
Blessings!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wandering
I am pretty sure that students will not learn if they are wandering around in the hallway. To this point, I am not sure why students are allowed to simply stay in the hallway. As a teacher in the 7th and 8th grade wing, I had a 5th grade student today just sitting there. So many times this same student is in the hallway because "he's with the security guard." Well that's all fine and dandy, but first of all, it's definitely not HIS job to babysit, and second of all, GO TO CLASS! LEARN SOMETHING!
In my experience, which is all that I can speak to, students are allowed to carry on with behaviors that cause them to not learn. Wandering the hallway is a big one. 98% of the time when I see students in the hallway, I give them a 'what for' and tell them to get moving to class. The other 2% of the time, I'm so worn out that I cannot stand to deal with it. Mind you, this is not in my job description. It is not my job to clear the halls on my prep period. My job is to 'prep' on my prep period. It is this behavior, along with many others, that, when left un-touched by a disciplinary action, continues to perpetuate the sad excuse for a learning environment that I often teach in. Children wandering the halls, screaming between (or during) periods, jumping on others' backs, being EXTREMELY disrespectful, play fighting (or real fighting) in the hallways - it is these behaviors that we apparently don't care about which creates an atmosphere of chaos in. Oh, and we expect to improve test scores in this jungle...
We need to start small - 'Sweat the Small Stuff' as Achievement First would say. If we began the year with small things, discipline for small actions, not worrying about how long it takes in the beginning of the year - as long as we get it right - then at this point of the year, students would not be so crazy. I would not dread coming in to work most days. I would not work and teach in a jungle. Students might actually learn.
I am only one person. I can only do so much.
In my experience, which is all that I can speak to, students are allowed to carry on with behaviors that cause them to not learn. Wandering the hallway is a big one. 98% of the time when I see students in the hallway, I give them a 'what for' and tell them to get moving to class. The other 2% of the time, I'm so worn out that I cannot stand to deal with it. Mind you, this is not in my job description. It is not my job to clear the halls on my prep period. My job is to 'prep' on my prep period. It is this behavior, along with many others, that, when left un-touched by a disciplinary action, continues to perpetuate the sad excuse for a learning environment that I often teach in. Children wandering the halls, screaming between (or during) periods, jumping on others' backs, being EXTREMELY disrespectful, play fighting (or real fighting) in the hallways - it is these behaviors that we apparently don't care about which creates an atmosphere of chaos in. Oh, and we expect to improve test scores in this jungle...
We need to start small - 'Sweat the Small Stuff' as Achievement First would say. If we began the year with small things, discipline for small actions, not worrying about how long it takes in the beginning of the year - as long as we get it right - then at this point of the year, students would not be so crazy. I would not dread coming in to work most days. I would not work and teach in a jungle. Students might actually learn.
I am only one person. I can only do so much.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
It's Amazing...
It's amazing to me the things that my students go through by the age of 14. I can't imagine being afraid for my mother. I can't imagine being asked to hold drugs for someone in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I can't imagine the stress my students are put through at home and then be expected to come to school and act as if nothing happened! I thought home was supposed to be a place of nurturing, of discipline, and of love. That's my ideal - and all I can do is pray that my students understand that through me if they don't get it at home.
The way that a parent can completely mess up a child's mind is incomprehensible for me. The children I come to work for day in and day out are so precious to me, and I cannot imagine putting them through the bulls#*t that some of these parents do. I guess that doesn't just happen in urban, low-income homes though. It is apparently something that goes on, unbeknown to so many of us who have stable family lives.
I wish I had a magic wand...I want to make it all better. I want all of my kids to be happy and healthy...they can't be happy all the time, but at least they could be most of the time.
The way that a parent can completely mess up a child's mind is incomprehensible for me. The children I come to work for day in and day out are so precious to me, and I cannot imagine putting them through the bulls#*t that some of these parents do. I guess that doesn't just happen in urban, low-income homes though. It is apparently something that goes on, unbeknown to so many of us who have stable family lives.
I wish I had a magic wand...I want to make it all better. I want all of my kids to be happy and healthy...they can't be happy all the time, but at least they could be most of the time.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Too Long
Wow, it has been waaaaaayyyyy too long since I last wrote. I got caught up in the stress, exhaustion, and endlessness of teaching that I neglected to share my thoughts.
Since September when I last wrote, I think that I have cried about 5 or so times out of frustration. I have been so overwhelmed with the lack of effort from people - and unfortunately that is out of my control. For some reason, unbeknown to me, not everyone works as hard as I do. For some reason, also unbeknown to me, not everyone in education is in it for the kids. Lord knows, they're not in it for the money, which leaves me wondering, "Why are you here?"
I find myself being discouraged all too often lately. At the end of the day, I am physically and mentally exhausted. I am definitely tired of being yelled at by students, I am tired of a lack of consequences, I am tired of not getting homework back, I am tired of students who think its cool to make fun of others, I am tired of trying to clear the hallways when it's not my job, I am tired of staff who do nothing but provoke students, I am tired of students getting out of consequences because, well, they didn't mean to do it, they just have a bad home life, I am tired of people not being in it for the kids.
I am not a parent, but I'll tell anyone that I have 86 kids who I love and care about; 86 kids who drive me up a wall daily; 86 kids who show they care in their own special way; 86 kids who America is failing; 86 kids who I work my ass of for day in and day out. They know I care...I cry out of utter frustration for them sometimes, instead of because of them.
Last year, there wasn't a single day that I was so overwhelmed from the day before that I didn't want to show up. That happened this week...I was so MAD and so FRUSTRATED that I just didn't want to go back. I got up in the morning and couldn't help but think about the day before. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and hope it was a bad dream...but it wasn't...it was a daymare! Then a friend told me, "There are only two things you can think about: your faith in God and your mission to help those kids no matter what." That's the only thing that got me through. I can count on no one but God to get me through days like these.
All I know today is that it is Friday. I used to make every day Friday with lots of wine...but these days I am learning to cope in healthier, more productive ways. It is Friday...so the day is good.
Blessings.
Emily
Since September when I last wrote, I think that I have cried about 5 or so times out of frustration. I have been so overwhelmed with the lack of effort from people - and unfortunately that is out of my control. For some reason, unbeknown to me, not everyone works as hard as I do. For some reason, also unbeknown to me, not everyone in education is in it for the kids. Lord knows, they're not in it for the money, which leaves me wondering, "Why are you here?"
I find myself being discouraged all too often lately. At the end of the day, I am physically and mentally exhausted. I am definitely tired of being yelled at by students, I am tired of a lack of consequences, I am tired of not getting homework back, I am tired of students who think its cool to make fun of others, I am tired of trying to clear the hallways when it's not my job, I am tired of staff who do nothing but provoke students, I am tired of students getting out of consequences because, well, they didn't mean to do it, they just have a bad home life, I am tired of people not being in it for the kids.
I am not a parent, but I'll tell anyone that I have 86 kids who I love and care about; 86 kids who drive me up a wall daily; 86 kids who show they care in their own special way; 86 kids who America is failing; 86 kids who I work my ass of for day in and day out. They know I care...I cry out of utter frustration for them sometimes, instead of because of them.
Last year, there wasn't a single day that I was so overwhelmed from the day before that I didn't want to show up. That happened this week...I was so MAD and so FRUSTRATED that I just didn't want to go back. I got up in the morning and couldn't help but think about the day before. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and hope it was a bad dream...but it wasn't...it was a daymare! Then a friend told me, "There are only two things you can think about: your faith in God and your mission to help those kids no matter what." That's the only thing that got me through. I can count on no one but God to get me through days like these.
All I know today is that it is Friday. I used to make every day Friday with lots of wine...but these days I am learning to cope in healthier, more productive ways. It is Friday...so the day is good.
Blessings.
Emily
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