Thursday, January 28, 2010

Frustrations of a Haggared Teacher

This week was not only long, but extremely frustrating, and it's not even Friday...It's sad that I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow. I continue to say, and I will stick to it, that my kids need me in the room...but I will add on to that saying that they just don't know it all the time. I went through a few days of 'whisper whisper, yell yell, talk over Mrs Shumway, throw homework away, scream scream, roll my eyes, mock the teacher' etc, etc...I can't imagine, sometimes, what is going through the growing brains of my students. Is there a miracle grow I can use for 11- and 12-year-olds? I don't know how it is that they can be so rude to me when I work so hard for them. But now that I am thinking about it, I figure it out...they have never been spoken to or treated, maybe, the way that I would expect them to be. So in return, how would they know? I have listened over the end of a phone line when on a phone call home as a mother screamed at her daughter for about 11 straight minutes...and in the background all I could hear from my student was fear in her voice, and excuses to mom. It made me feel bad for calling home, but then at the same time, I am not sure how else to deal with some of my more challenging students. When it comes to being frustrated, I have to think about my students who do love me, and who really do appreciate me.

I am so proud of some of my students who I have seen grow so much, either mathematically or socially. I had three students who came up at lunch just wanting to eat with me. These three boys don't typically come up, but today was different. I don't know if it is a comfort thing, that they come up to get some quiet, but I love having them up. They love to share different little pieces of their lives with me, helping me out in the smallest ways --without me even asking! Those are the little things that I have to keep remembering -- that is why I am here! Lord knows I love all of my students, but some of them love me back...and that is what REALLY makes it worth it. I can't let the few bad days get in the way of the good ones.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Understanding Kids

It is amazing to me how little some people know about managing kids in the classroom. Now I do not claim to be an expert in the area, but I know that I manage with care and compassion, along with a 'flexible iron fist.' I sit in my classroom on my prep and listen to the mismanagement of students in other rooms. Beginning the class by getting frustrated and angry, and yelling, "Do Now!" at a student is no way to earn the trust and respect of him or her. I experience so much more joy from their learning, and calmness in the class when I begin with a, "Good morning D'Ante."

I know I am not the most calm person on my staff, but I try to be as calm and reasonable as possible...yes, sometimes I lose it for a bit and try to re-explain an instruction to an individual student by yelling, but for the most part I try to teach my students with respect. No way on God's green earth would I comment about how terrible the student is, or that someone can't do something right in front of them, let alone the entire class. You know that the kids don't respect you when they mock you in your class, in front of your face. Why should they if that happens and you do nothing about it!?

Off to grade for now, but maybe more to come later today.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Nurturer

I have no kids of my own yet. The 72 students that I see everyday and teach every day ARE my kids. I have seen them hate me, spite me, respect me, and love me. I've had them call me mom, give me hugs, and do work for me because they like me (whether it's for my class or another class). I don't know where the breakdown is, what the reason it that so many teachers have a hard time respecting the same students that I do. Yes, they are a handful, they are challenging, they are sometimes mean, but that's why I teach them the way I do - with a lot of love.

Growing up, my parents always told me that I could do anything that I wanted to as long as I put my mind to it. This is what is missing from so many of my kids lives. So many teachers discount my kids as unable, that they don't care, as passive. I beg to differ with these teachers. They can and will work hard. They need to be shown that you care, and they need to be loved. It's a hard world to be brought into when you are not taught better from the society around you, but I can be that influence, that nurturer who tells them, "you CAN do anything that you want."

I believe that my parents were hard on my brother and I for a good reason; they showed us responsibility and respect through their tough love. This is why I am not only loving towards my students, but I am extremely hard on them when it comes to grades and their own responsibility. As I sat through a professional development session today, I heard so many colleagues say that they can't get students to turn in homework, but if they give them a zero for all of the missing assignments, they'd fail. I say GOOD! Let them fail! They need to understand that without doing the work and putting in the effort, they will not pass. From last quarter to this quarter, I see a definite improvement in the return on work that is due. I have so many more students coming to me to ask, "Can I get the work I'm missing?" "What can I do to boost my grade?" When it came to the end of the quarter, they were amazed that they had an F. They saw the lack of responsibility and how it affected them. Through that realization, the number of students who are failing has been cut in half. I am even harder on the students this quarter. I used to give ten pages of make-up work to them, kindly letting them make up work from two months before. This quarter, they have five days, and that's it! They feel the responsibility through the tough love that I bear down on them. Some of the students that I am the hardest on have improved the most!

At the end of the day, I say goodbye to my kids, I get a few hugs from them, and I remind them as they run to the bus to remember their responsibilities for the night. Maybe they have a hard time remembering their work, or maybe they have a lot to deal with at home, but it's not that they "don't care," so much as they need someone to tell them they are brilliant! They may not meet society's view of brilliant, but I see the potential, and I make sure that they know I have all the faith in the world in the ability of each and every one of my students.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I Never Knew...

Tuesday December 29, 2009

I never knew or understood where God has been calling me all of my life. I have been affected by so many things, so many people, that I have never been able to focus on the Lord's calling for me. I have definitely THOUGHT I knew what he wanted for me, but truly, honestly, it was all in my head.


I have been moved by a great friend of mine, Dominic, to work with cancer. I started off Freshman year of college thinking I was going to be an oncologist - that did not last long when I realized that my chemistry major was just okay. I was into the math, and that was about it. Then I moved on to the thought of raising money for cancer. All of the progress we have made against it could not have happened had it not been for the funding behind the research and treatments. As I begun my path of fundraising, I realized through my work with the American Cancer Society that I am really unmotivated when it comes to trying to raise money on a daily basis. I know, it sounds awful, but it's the truth! I had a hard time pushing through my work that summer! So when it came down to the winter before graduation last year, all I knew was that I'd like to open a coffee shop that raises money for cancer patients. I still LOVE the idea, and I am motivated by the prospect of it, by Ryan said to me one day while in the car, "What are you going to do until we have the money to open a coffee shop? You can't just graduate and open a coffee shop." Until that point, I hadn't really thought about it. HE WAS SO RIGHT! WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?! Uncle Jon had suggested teaching a while back, as his lovely wife Leeann teaches and he's seen the benefit of teaching as a career.

I had initially scoffed at the idea, mostly for two reasons: first of all, I never thought I would be a good teacher, and secondly, I thought I could DO better, I thought I could MAKE MORE. Thank God for Jon. Since I have been teaching the past 6 months, I understand my calling, my God-given talent, and my love for teaching. Yes, my kids are insane some days, and yes, it is the hardest thing I have EVER done! Way harder than college ever was, and much more challenging to my mental and spiritual being. But, it is amazing what the Lord has showed me, what He has taught me. I didn't think that I would stay in teaching forever when I first applied to Teach for America, but now, I cannot see myself doing anything else. Not only teaching, but teaching in our country's most challenging schools. I know now that God has called me to teach and to love the students in areas where, without my knowledge and loving spirit, they would never understand their potential, they might never know that SOMEONE believes in them.

So thanks to everyone who has supported me so far in this INSANE JOURNEY in the beginning of my career. I could not do it without the love and support, and long conversations from so many of you. Say a prayer for all the students who need me, need a teacher, need someone to love them regardless of how loud, annoying, and cruel they are.

Peace.

More from the East End

Sunday September 20, 2009

So I am going into week 5 tomorrow. I am learning more and more the kids both love and hate me. They love me when they are not in my class...they hate me when I make them do ANYTHING! Of course I am getting into the swing of things, but sometimes I cannot help but think I am SO disorganized...when in all reality I am pretty organized compared to most. I find myself in the middle of piles upon piles of papers, they all seem to be graded and input into the grade book, but sorting them to get them back to students? Not very easy or convenient. It seems as though time goes by faster than I can blink…I wake up, I get coffee, I head to school an hour and a half before kids arrive, but then all of a sudden they’re there! I go through the day on my feet; I leave school after several frustrating and wonderful hours that seemed like minutes, and then find myself home with even more work to do. What it must be like to have a job where you have no work to bring home! Not only do I bring it home, but with Ryan and I still organizing, I come home, clean stuff up, change into comfy clothes, watch Ellen sometimes and get in an hour or so break. Then dinner, then grading, then realizing it is all of a sudden ten (how’d that happen so fast?) and I need to shower. Sigh…shower…bed…BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! And so it happens again the next day.

What a life. And amazingly with all of the work and hormonal pre-teens, I couldn’t be happier! I have an amazing husband, and some great friends who are all supportive and so much fun. Not that we live for the weekend, but OOOooohhhh how good it is to sleep in until at least nine thirty on Saturdays. Our apartment is finally turning into home.
Even better, I got my first check on Friday! Seriously, I know I haven’t been getting paid that much, but it was the biggest check I’ve ever seen! Also, the first check I’ve seen since the end of school. Yes I have gotten support from TFA, but to have hard earned money in our bank account – life can’t get much better than this (oh, well unless my kids understood everything I said every day, and followed every instruction too – when pigs fly!)
I have some amazing young people in my classes, and they are amazingly behind. It makes me sad – but they best part is a few of my favorite students came in after school for help – I hadn’t even suggested it! They are not boys who I would picture coming in for help often, so that was a great experience. We had a great time. I tried so hard to try and help them, and my one student says, “Mrs. Shumway, you’re teaching us. You can do that in class…just help me with the homework!” I laughed so hard.
Oh my…and now it is 8:45, and I’m almost done planning for the week. Then soon to bed.
God Bless…hope you are all praying for my kids.
Emily

Kids Will Be Kids

Friday August 28, 2009

So I started teaching kids in a real school, as a REAL teacher on Wednesday. I am working at Tisdale Elementary, where we teach grades k-8. I am a 7th grade math teacher, and I have about 75 students total. I teach four classes a day, with one or two prep periods, and then all kinds of other things thrown in the mix.


Tisdale is in an urban setting, technically speaking. It is in the lower percentile rate for statewide testing, which blows my mind because really, my kids are pretty bright for the most part. They have simply been left behind the norm for where 7th grade math should be (and English, and Science...)

Day one was interesting. I ended up having my homeroom for about three periods because the bell/announcement was not made to switch periods. The first day of school is always going to be slightly hectic, especially with this only being the second year that my school has 7th and 8th graders in the building. Our students need a lot of structure in their life. They simply have not been exposed to it growing up. I have a friend (different school and district, same situation) who saw one of her students out at about midnight one night last year. She asked him why in the world he is still out, that he should be in bed by now. His response was that he couldn't go home because his mom had her boyfriend over.

Please don't take this the wrong way - I don't want people to think that this is the norm. Unfortunately, the fact is that many of my students have had several hardships in their lives. This doesn't mean that it is always mom or dad's fault, but obviously life doesn't go as planned.

Regardless of their troublesome behavior in class, these kids are a blessing. I pray for them every night, that they are asleep in bed, at home with family, and that they've had a good meal for dinner. Please do the same!

So I have my own classroom (which sounds odd, but several of my Teach for America colleagues do not - they have to roam from room to room). I have been working really hard to make it an inviting atmosphere, where the kids can come in and talk to me and know that they are in a safe place. I have also only begun to set the tone for the year. These kids are TOUGH to deal with - especially after lunch. I have several specific rules that they must follow in class, including 3 zones of noise - 1 being silent, 2 being speaking quietly with a partner, and 3 being 'inside voices.' With several of them, it needs to stay in zone 1 until they get the point! I have been blessed to have three amazing other teachers on the 7th grade team with me at Tisdale, and we have worked together to develop a consistent system with them. In order to maximize their learning time, and behavioral skills, we walk them from class to class, in straight silent lines - well, not always straight, and lets face it, not always silent. But the best part is I am only three days in, and it's the little rewards that go a LONG WAY for me. I get smiles from kids every day, and I get hugs from students I sometimes don't even know! AND IT'S ONLY THREE DAYS IN!

The planning of the lessons and the daily routines have not quite come so easy as of yet. Getting up every day is still a challenge, and then I am so tired at night that I plop down when I get home and sigh. But it is so worth it.

Ryan and I get keys to our own apartment this weekend and we will move in on Tuesday (FINALLY!) We've been very thankful for our friends Ben and Jared who are so kindly letting us be squatters in their home, on their futon...for almost a month...yea, about that - we owe them big time! We are so happy to finally be getting settled!

Love to you all!

Em