Sunday, January 3, 2010

I Never Knew...

Tuesday December 29, 2009

I never knew or understood where God has been calling me all of my life. I have been affected by so many things, so many people, that I have never been able to focus on the Lord's calling for me. I have definitely THOUGHT I knew what he wanted for me, but truly, honestly, it was all in my head.


I have been moved by a great friend of mine, Dominic, to work with cancer. I started off Freshman year of college thinking I was going to be an oncologist - that did not last long when I realized that my chemistry major was just okay. I was into the math, and that was about it. Then I moved on to the thought of raising money for cancer. All of the progress we have made against it could not have happened had it not been for the funding behind the research and treatments. As I begun my path of fundraising, I realized through my work with the American Cancer Society that I am really unmotivated when it comes to trying to raise money on a daily basis. I know, it sounds awful, but it's the truth! I had a hard time pushing through my work that summer! So when it came down to the winter before graduation last year, all I knew was that I'd like to open a coffee shop that raises money for cancer patients. I still LOVE the idea, and I am motivated by the prospect of it, by Ryan said to me one day while in the car, "What are you going to do until we have the money to open a coffee shop? You can't just graduate and open a coffee shop." Until that point, I hadn't really thought about it. HE WAS SO RIGHT! WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO?! Uncle Jon had suggested teaching a while back, as his lovely wife Leeann teaches and he's seen the benefit of teaching as a career.

I had initially scoffed at the idea, mostly for two reasons: first of all, I never thought I would be a good teacher, and secondly, I thought I could DO better, I thought I could MAKE MORE. Thank God for Jon. Since I have been teaching the past 6 months, I understand my calling, my God-given talent, and my love for teaching. Yes, my kids are insane some days, and yes, it is the hardest thing I have EVER done! Way harder than college ever was, and much more challenging to my mental and spiritual being. But, it is amazing what the Lord has showed me, what He has taught me. I didn't think that I would stay in teaching forever when I first applied to Teach for America, but now, I cannot see myself doing anything else. Not only teaching, but teaching in our country's most challenging schools. I know now that God has called me to teach and to love the students in areas where, without my knowledge and loving spirit, they would never understand their potential, they might never know that SOMEONE believes in them.

So thanks to everyone who has supported me so far in this INSANE JOURNEY in the beginning of my career. I could not do it without the love and support, and long conversations from so many of you. Say a prayer for all the students who need me, need a teacher, need someone to love them regardless of how loud, annoying, and cruel they are.

Peace.

1 comment:

  1. blog - very good idea Em.
    "the Mrs. Shumway chronicles"...
    got snow?
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete